IT WAS ALREADY TOO LATE
When I started working with my first Executive Coach it was already too late to learn how to stay in my existing role at the moment.
I had already learned all the tricks on how to bypass my emotions, values and intuition.
“Avoiding Myself” to meet somebody else’s demands, needs and metrics of success had already become a major area of “expertise” for me.
Am I alone here?
I am sure I am not!
And here is the thing, when you do this….you are setting yourself up for absolute failure.
Trying to please everyone is like embarking yourself in a journey that will never end and you won’t always win.
But by also putting other’s people needs first AT ALL TIMES, somehow that translates to your inability to validate your existence as a human being. Your needs, emotions, and your expectations all count and are real despite your lack of validation.
We can blame the entire world for being the victims of burnout and exhaustion but the reality is that you are doing this to yourself and by yourself.
I can call or label this “Pattern” in many ways but the one word that comes to mind that best describes the end result of all this is: “Self-Betrayal” .
Self-betrayal because you are simply denying, neglecting and escaping all the internal messages that are sent your way to take care of yourself and honor your authentic-self.
So, if you are reading this and feeling…OMG…this is me!
Don’t worry! you are not alone.
This is a very common conversation that I have with my clients in session.
So, here are a few things you can practice to start reversing this “People Pleasing” habit/pattern.
- Become aware of your emotions.
- Don’t judge them.
- Allow them to be.
- Be curious about them.
- Label the emotions.
- Do self-inquiry as of why you are experiencing these emotions.
- Identify the values/emotions and needs that are on the line.
- What are these emotions trying to tell you?
- Create an intention to honor your inner-self.
- Validate the needs and wants of others and at the same time consider yours as well.
- Define your boundaries.
This sounds easy and I know it’s not.
You can start with one or two from this list
Remember, one step in front of the other is always progress!
Be gentle and take it easy.
Awareness, intention and attitude are all elements of living an authentic life.
And guess what? You can start today!
Your friend and coach,
Such a powerful reminder!! Of course I completely identify… but I picked a couple of intentions from your list that I’ll be focusing on. Thanks!!! You’re the best Ivanna!